We are in between. International Bereaved Mother’s Day is set for the week before the traditionally celebrated Mother’s Day, a day for the mothers who love a child they can no longer hold. Last Sunday and this coming Sunday. Mother’s Day. A day that can be hard for a bereaved mom no matter how fresh or how long ago the loss.
What challenges many of us is how we can help or what might be hurtful on days such as this. The staff at Legacy.com interviewed bereaved parents for some thoughts. They suggest:
- Don’t avoid us. We already feel different, and your absence isolates us even more.
- Remind us what was so special about our child.
- Share with us how our child made a difference.
- Accept that we’ve changed. We don’t like it either, but our experience makes us see the world from a different perspective.
- Stay in touch. Even if we seem unresponsive, keep up the connection. Your friendship and support mean the world, even if we don’t seem responsive.
- Don’t forget our child. Say their name and tell us stories – it’s music to our ears. Let us know how much you loved them, will miss seeing them grow, and how you too feel the pain of their absence.
- Be with us even if we’re not much fun. Your friendship and support is the best therapy.
Additional ideas include:
- Stop in to help with household chores or hire a housekeeper if the loss is recent or during especially hard months.
- If there are children at home, remember them when you deliver care packages or gift baskets.
Thoughtful gestures will help a grieving mom feel that both she and her child are not forgotten. And remembrance is the true spirit of Mother’s Day.
Staff, Legacy. “What to Do for a Grieving Mother on Mother’s Day.” Legacy.com, 9 May 2019