6 Years Ago

Six years ago today on this very day, May 21st, 2016, I buried my 13-month-old son Hudson. Today I graduate from Pacific University with my Bachelor of Social Work. In an alternate universe, the 2016 burial would have never happened and subsequently, I would not walk across a stage receiving my degree. However, it is …

6 Years Ago Read More »

Molly’s Garden

Recently, I’ve been able to think about happy memories with Molly and not crumble. I remember a visit to the zoo with her. At one point, she started crawling on all fours like the bears we saw. It was so cute. It’s a good feeling when I can think of her and be happy.

Molly's Garden

Three Days

Kennedie and I have a very close bond, it helped me get through so much. I don’t talk about losing Kennedie with my other three kids. Sometimes we get in the car and go for a drive together. That’s how we process our feelings – we drive and we listen to a CD of songs from her funeral.

My Pride and Joy

I was having a rough day and I was so upset. The sun was out, it was a nice day, and a ladybug landed on the driver side window. I think it was Kai telling me it was going to be okay. I don’t like bugs very much, but ladybugs are different. They’re quiet, they don’t make any noise just like Kai. He’s my pride and joy.

Dear Isla Ruth

We hope you see the small things we do down here for you. We do something manageable for us each year on your birthday and on your Angel Day, too. We light lanterns in your cemetery. It’s such a peaceful cemetery. There are lots of trees and the birds are always singing..

A Neon Sign

Instead of being alone, I have imagined the ancestors – the grandmothers and great grandmothers with their love and wisdom there with me, helping to hold the space and weight of life and of death. It’s helped me a lot to have that revised mental image.