Every. Single. Day.

– by Nancy Petrie, Buzzy’s Nana

I have spent my time in the recent year focusing on helping grow Buzzy’s Bees, but there are triggers in life that stop you in your tracks and put you right back in your deepest grief.

This weekend we are celebrating two birthday boys, cousins born four years and one day apart.  These young men and the rest of our grandchildren are the delight of my life.  When we are finally able to gather all together this summer there will be one missing from our midst.  But never, ever is my grandson Hudson missing from my heart and mind.  I do think of him, and all our grandchildren, every. single. day.  

It has been five years since I held Hudson and talked with him and enjoyed our Tuesdays together.  When a photo memory surprises me with his sweet grin I smile and remember.  At other times, my heart twists and a tear forms and I must honor the moment by pausing, resting, sometimes sobbing.  

Each lost child touches many lives.  And there is no expiration date on remembering.  For at least sixty years my grandmother would recall her beloved Charlene who died at age six of complications from two childhood diseases in 1930.  My mother had an older brother, Willis, who lived six weeks.  She never knew him but often spoke of him.  Each November my heart connects to my sister whose first child was with us for two days in 1979.  Our niece lost her nine-year-old son in March.  The heartbreak of his mother and grandparents is palpable.  Last weekend I had the honor of listening to a mom whose son lived 13 months remember him as a “baby everyone should have.”

Stories and memories are important.  I have no doubt that you have people in your circle who are remembering, especially on days such as birthdays, holidays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day – all of these are challenging celebration times for grieving families.  It can help when others “show up” and are present with you.  

Experiencing that is what inspired Amanda to launch Buzzy’s Bees with the mission of offering emotional and financial support to families who have unexpectedly lost a young child.  It is a mission that has captured the hearts of our family and a wider circle of people we celebrate who are Buzzy’s family with us.